Imagine there's a part of your brain that's held onto every nasty, critical, mean, degrading, condescending and unsupportive thing anyone has ever said to you. Then, imagine that part of your brain plays back those comments everyday of your life- sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly- until you feel insecure, anxious and depressed. With repeated exposure, the comments begin to eat away at and destroy your self esteem, along with any chance to truly love and accept yourself for who you are.
This is your inner critic. Some people prefer to call it "the bully", "mom's voice", "dad's voice", "the jerk", "the asshole"-- but regardless of what it's called, the effects are the same.
Fighting the inner critic is very similar to stopping judgement. The first step is to become aware of when your inner critic is talking, to pay close attention to that nagging, critical voice in the back of your thoughts. It may appear when you're looking in the mirror, talking to friends, giving a presentation, thinking about asking someone on a date, or sitting alone late at night. There is no ONE time when the critic strikes. It just depends on the individual.
Once you become aware of the critic, you can begin to fight it. (This is the part that sounds a little kooky to some people-- "what? I'm fighting a voice in my head?"-- but believe me, this is your ticket to truly loving and accepting yourself, once and for all.)
Develop a mantra, just like with non-judgement. "Shut up!" "That's not true!" "I'm not listening to you." "Nonsense." "You're full of it!", etc. When you hear the critical voice flare up, think the mantra LOUDLY. If you need to, imagine that your critic is an actual person-- a parent, a mean teacher or coach, a bad guy from a movie-- and mentally shout at that person until they grow silent.
Once the critic is silent, imagine the voice of a loved one, friend or mentor telling you something positive and affirming. (ie: "You are beautiful" "I love you the way you are" "It's going to be ok" "You can handle this" "You are a good person" "Don't listen to the critic"). Repeat the affirmation until the insecurity and negative feelings pass.
That's basically all there is to it. The key to beating the inner critic is diligence-- EVERY time you feel sad or insecure, ask yourself if the critic is behind it. If they are, shout the mantra, and end with an affirmation. Every time. Don't let the critic have a voice, even for one second.
